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Sep. 26th, 2014

"Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace." -Joan Boryenko.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/76072.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Aug. 30th, 2014

Fr. Rohr

"Labyrinths are found in different forms on all continents, within many cultures and mythologies, carved or painted on ancient cave and church walls, and set in floors at sacred sites such as Gothic cathedrals. These circular paths are a way of learning and praying through movement instead of through thinking. Labyrinths seem to have emerged from the collective unconscious, representing a clear path to center, to the Divine. A classical labyrinth has seven cycles, one for each stage of life.

Find a labyrinth (on the ground or printed on paper) for your feet or fingers to traverse in the company of God’s presence. Walk the labyrinth as if on pilgrimage, but without a goal beyond the experience of walking itself. Step consciously and slowly, allowing the Divine to guide and teach. Let the walk teach its own lessons. There is no one correct message. The turning circuits of a labyrinth remind us that life is change and transformation and repentance (i.e. metanoia or turning around)."

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/73845.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Aug. 29th, 2014

Poor Poet's Potatoes



From A Cookbook for Poor Poets and Others, Ann Rogers, 1966. New York: Charles Scribner's Sons.

(I substitute several splashes apple cider vinegar for the wine.)

I made it once before and loved it. The potatoes are cooling right now. Hopefully it will turn out just as tasty this time as it did the last.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/73552.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Aug. 11th, 2014

you know I'm a liar

Listening to the rain, making rapid progress through the articles I wanted to read today, and halfway through a pot of coffee.

This Monday rocks.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/72225.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Aug. 10th, 2014

I like this a lot.

Ring the bells that still can ring.
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything.
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/72001.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Aug. 9th, 2014

a poem I stumbled across. [Interestingly, I've been to that museum.]

Shadow on the Rock

by Daniel Berrigan, S.J.

At Hiroshima there’s a museum
and outside that museum there’s a rock,
and on that rock there’s a shadow.
That shadow is all that remains
of the human being who stood there on August 6, 1945
when the nuclear age began.
In the most real sense of the word,
that is the choice before us.
We shall either end war and the nuclear arms race now in this generation,
or we will become Shadows On the rock.

Aug. 4th, 2014

kitchen adventures abound

I'm once again obsessed with cooking greens. My standard three dishes I normally make with kale -- sauteed with a spicy black bean mix, steamed slowly with caramelized vidalia onions in stock, or salad in citrus -- started to bore me, however, so when I saw collards on sale at the Meijer, I decided to take the plunge.

By the time I got around to cooking them, though, I realized it had been quite a while since I last attempted this dish, so I found this recipe and it was excellent.

Southern Cooked Greens )

Happy Monday.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/71556.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Jul. 29th, 2014

Interesting article about Detroit water crisis

http://www.solidarity-us.org/site/node/4218

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/71398.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Jul. 14th, 2014

Praise Jesus

I'm so grateful we finally have power, a working shower (albeit only cold water for now), and everything else is scheduled to be up and running within the week. No more extended stay hotel. Now I can begin to concentrate on what I came here to do in the first place.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/69382.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Jun. 27th, 2014

Leaving

Brian's Jeep is packed, my parents' Excursion is packed, and the trailer they will be pulling is packed.

How in the world do any human beings have this much stuff?

Said my goodbyes to as many folks as I could, and to as many of my favorite haunts as was practical (and some that weren't; Brian was very understanding and helpful in that).

Brian's doing a last load of clothes.

We're leaving. It's really happening. In less than twelve hours.

I am so grateful to so many people -- most of all to my parents for supporting this whole thing, without whom I just don't even know what.

I'm so excited and also sad. I guess that's normal. I keep comparing this process to how I felt when I left last time for California but the situations aren't comparable. Last time, I was going for a year. This time... Well. Who knows where the path will lead?

Bye, Omaha. Hello, Detroit -- and graduate school. Ready steady and go.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/68641.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Jun. 6th, 2014

"I am not the motherfucking one"

http://www.brobible.com/life/article/family-dollar-febreze-theft/

Somehow this makes the wordless frustration built up from a day wasted pursuing what I thought to be an actual property, supposedly managed by what I thought to be a reputable rental agency, better.*

*(They insisted on me wiring $2k to them before I got a signed lease, and when I emailed back insisting that I was in no way ever going to do that, they responded with the briefest professional correspondence ever: "?? why").

I am not the one.

Renting is hard.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/67603.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Jun. 3rd, 2014

"29 Straight White Boys That Need To Be Stopped"

I am dying.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/gotta-stop-em-all?bffb



i'm DYING

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/67380.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

May. 24th, 2014

Fight Club -- minimalism

http://www.theminimalists.com/fc/

"If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don’t you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can’t think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you’re supposed to read? Do you think every thing you’re supposed to think? Buy what you’re told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you’re alive. If you don’t claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned.

This is your life, and it’s ending one minute at a time."

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/66924.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

May. 17th, 2014

Text from Dog

http://fillthewell.com/if-dogs-could-text/

In other news, I graduated today. I walked, since it was what Mom asked me to do for her Xmas gift. Made summa. Ate lots of food with the folks afterward. Now food coma.

Gonna listen to the most recent WTNV tonight and take it easy. Foot pain has returned, sadly, and even is beginning in right foot. Right thigh is pulled, somehow, and right knee pops/clicks frequently. Left foot clicks with each step. Guess I'll go back to podiatrist again and just focus on upper body workouts in the meantime. Ah, well. Life is GOOD and I am happy.

Hope all are well.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/66390.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

May. 13th, 2014

white people

http://youtu.be/JAAbuGX-qEY?t=1m17s

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/66259.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

May. 7th, 2014

Breakdancing Buddhists?

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/monks-breakdance-mca-day-adam-yauch/

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/65273.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Apr. 22nd, 2014

Cognitive psychology project.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJIvEvFYRLw

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/64463.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Apr. 17th, 2014

Back from Detroit

I didn't think I was doing very well in the interview...

Until they told me that they really felt great about me as a candidate and that I would be receiving an acceptance letter in about two weeks but in the meantime to think over the unofficial acceptance they could offer verbally at that time even though they certainly encouraged me to consider all my options, other MA/MS programs, etc.

I accepted their unofficial acceptance with gusto.

Holy Thursday, I'm a grad student.

I'm going to bed now for three days.

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude I can barely form coherent sentences. I'm afraid the interviewers might have gotten the wrong impression since I became so taciturn after the good news. I just didn't trust myself not to start crying, or jumping up and down screaming HOLY f'N shit foreals?!!!/possibly pooping on myself.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/64063.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Apr. 10th, 2014

holy. crap.

I haven't been able to even email back yet because I'm so excited/terrified, and I've debated back and forth with my boyfriend and my Mom re: should I go/should I just phone it in (literally) because the roundtrip flight + taxi to do an in-person will be $~1k and would physically going really raise my chances that much to justify that much of an expenditure and plus what if I get nervous and it works against me cuz I could have hidden my nerves over the phone and jesus what if even after I go I still don't get in that is two months' rent in Omaha and quite an expensive rejection letter shouldn't I just be focusing on finding a job and blah blah blah

but

I got an interview for an M.A. program

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and looking at the available dates (interviewer is only available when I'm unavailable), the least devastating of all the days to miss will likely be next Thursday

ahhhhhhhhhhh

I think I'm going to be interviewing in a week. Like, a week from now. I'll probably have interviewed.

I think I'm going to go.

I think I might still be in this game.

Detroit or bust, baby?

Also: dolla dolla bill y'all. (I have no idea. I just can't stop thinking of that song right now?)

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/63802.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

Apr. 1st, 2014

Bright spot of my Tuesday

101% on the last research methods/statistics exam.

Hot damn.

I wish she wasn't collecting these back. I want to put it on my mama's fridge.

from http://ryanf.dreamwidth.org/63419.html // "WRITING...You'll never know what you wanted to say about something till you're scribbling furiously into it, reaching the center, then scribbling out again. This is BLOWING, accidentally and actually finding your center" (Kerouac, J. 1997. Some of the Dharma. New York: Viking). \\

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